Leadership is truly the most complex of all human endeavors. First of all, how do you even define leadership?

  • Leaders Inspire
  • Leaders Motivate
  • Leaders Coach
  • Leaders Mentor
  • Leaders Lead by Example
  • Leaders Inspire Loyalty

And the list goes on. All of these bullets seek to describe things that leaders DO. But what IS a leader, really?

I've always thought that the simplest definition of a leader is that he or she is a person that others choose to follow.

While it's simplistic and trite, it does speak to the essence of leadership: "Leader" isn't a position that is given, like a title. It is rather an earned position, and whether or not you are a leader depends almost entirely on the people that you expect to lead. They have to want to follow you. They have to be inspired to be loyal to you and your organization. They have to WANT to do the things you ask them to do to the best of their abilities.

Leadership is Behavior-Driven, Behavior-Dependant

Over the course of my career, I've been fortunate enough to consult with and/or work for some of the largest and most successful companies in the world, like: IBM, AT&T, Apple, Hewlett-Packard, Bell Atlantic, Fujitsu, and many others. I've taught Leadership Development and Sales for over 30 years in large, medium and small businesses.

As a result, I've seen some of the best and the worst leadership styles in the world. What I've learned is that the best leaders in the world have a keen understanding of human behavior. They understand behavioral styles (personality styles) and how to work with different personalities easily - almost effortlessly; And they understand the behaviors that are most likely to inspire confidence, loyalty, and superb performance.

The Four, Basic Personality Styles

If you've been through DISC, PDP, PIP, Wilson Learning's Social Styles, or one of the myriad personality styles training, you know that people are hardwired at birth with a personality, or behavioral style.

This 4-style theory originated from Hippocrates about 2,500 years ago, so it's a theory that truly has stood the test of time. Hippocrates theorized that people are born with personality styles that could be roughly grouped into four basic quadrants:

  • Dominant/Driver: This is a style that is very direct, forceful, courageous, and absolutely task-driven. They don't let ANYTHING get in the way of getting the job done. They are "bottom-line" people that prefer to use "Business Poetry" rather than "Business Prose." They are the ones most likely to interrupt you by saying, "Look, I don't have a lot of time, just bottom line it for me". They are the "Lead, Follow, or Get Out of the Way" people. If, back in Hippocrates' time one of these people came in to see "Dr. Hippocrates, the Father of Modern Medicine," they would be the ones most likely to say, "Hey Doc, I have an arrow stuck in my leg. Get this thing out and sewed up as soon as possible - I have a construction project I have to get back to - Let's go!" This is a Task-Based Personality Style.
  • Amiable/Patient: These people are patient, caring and concerned with the well-being of others. They are quiet, usually careful about who they let into their inner circle, slow to trust "outsiders", cautious, very careful decision-makers, and are the most likely to work hard to ensure harmony in the family or circle of friends. When they are in conversation with someone, they choose their words very carefully, to make sure that they don't cause offense, and that they properly convey the meaning of the message intended. If an Amiable/Patient personality style came in to see the doctor, they would be the most likely to say, "Oh - See HER first, she looks like she's really ill, and I can wait a bit." This is the only personality style that is a natural listener. This is a People-Based Personality.
  • Extrovert/Expressive: This personality style is verbally and visually expressive. They like to be in communication with others - a lot. Their idea of a great time is to have 20 of their best friends over for a party. And they are the ones that will move around in a party making sure that everyone is having fun. These people are quick to voice an opinion, and will jump right into a conversation if they feel that they have something to contribute. If this person were to see the same doctor, they might say something like, "Hey Doc! How're you doing! How's your family - I heard that your daughter Jenny is having a recital next week - I bet she'll do really well. What have YOU been up to; and so on." They enter into relationships easily, and have sometimes amazingly effective rapport building skills. This is a People-Based Personality.
  • Conscientious/Analytical: This personality can look a lot like the Dominant/Driver personality in that they are Task-Oriented people. They are objectives driven, and focus most of their energy on getting things done, rather than building relationships. Where they differ from the Dominant personality is that they are detailed-analytical, rather than conceptually analytical. They are the people who measure things, focus on processes, are rules-friendly, and enjoy following procedure. If these people were to visit the same doctor, they would be likely to say, "Hi Doc. I have a spear wound in my side approximately 16 centimeters below the right intercostal nerve; It's approximately 12 centimeters deep, and 6 centimeters wide. I've applied pressure to the wound to stop the bleeding. I think you need a 20-guage needle and 4-strand catgut, with a whip-stitch..." This is a Task-Based Personality Style.

Great leaders understand that each of us brings different strengths, weaknesses, communication styles, decision-making styles and work styles to the party; and they put their people into positions where they can play to their strengths, rather than their weaknesses.

They also understand that they have to adapt their personality style for each of the different personality styles with which they work, and they seem to do so effortlessly.

It is NOT effortless. Very few "Natural Born Leaders" have the ability to work seamlessly with different personality styles. It's not something that we are born understanding. It's a learned behavior.

The Golden and Platinum Rules of Communication

Back in 1985, my partner and I secured a large contract with Compaq Computer Corporation to teach Negotiative Selling in the Microcomputer Industry™ to sales teams and leadership in the VAR, VAD, Retailer (Reseller) Channel. A sizable portion of the training was focused on interpersonal communication. one of the things we had learned about communication was that everyone has a different approach to communicating thoughts, ideas, and feelings, and that these are related to their personality styles. So in our book (of the same title) we wrote:

"Most of you have at least heard of the 'Golden Rule', right? 'Treat others as you would like to be treated...' We we have the 'Golden Rule of Communication' that reads, 'Communicate with others the way you'd like to be communicated with."

"But there's a much more effective way to communicate with others, and we call it the 'Platinum Rule of Communication', which states, 'Communicate with others the way THEY would like to be communicated with,' which means that you have to take the time to learn a little about how your employees or your Clients are most comfortable communicating, making decisions, and working - and then you have to set your own ego aside and take a step closer to their communication style to make it easy for them to communicate with you."

Since that time, we have taught countless Leadership and Sales courses, and almost always refer to the "Platinum Rule of Communication" because it is such an important concept.

Great Leaders Set Their Ego to the Side

Great leaders are so self-secure and confident that they can easily check their egos at the door and shift their communication style a bit to match the styles of their teams. And the more you know about personality styles, the easier it is to be able to do this. Great leaders are great facilitators - they make it easy for their people to do their jobs.

This is akin to learning four languages, and not being afraid to use those languages when communicating with people from different countries. For example, if you're doing business in South America, it will do you a world of good to learn as much Spanish as possible, and to make every attempt at using that language when you're doing business there. I had the wonderful experience of doing business in South and Central America, and used my rudimentary Spanish almost exclusively down there. After they had a good laugh at my "Texas-Spanish" accent, they had a lot of fun trying to teach me their individual dialects. All of them were flattered that I cared enough to at least try.

And when you at least TRY to communicate with others in their "Personality Style Languages", they will appreciate the attempt, and you'll find it much easier to get into and maintain a strong working rapport with them.

The few paragraphs I've written above are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to personality styles. Our behavioral styles are NOT black and white, and practically none of us can be categorized as belonging absolutely to any one of the four styles. Instead, each of us has a our own unique blend of personality characteristics from each of the four personality styles. However, most of us find it easier to work from a dominant style, even though our personality style at home may be somewhat different.

And the study of behavioral styles isn't an exact science; after all, people are involved. But the more you can learn about behavioral styles, the easier you'll find it to lead.

There's SO much more to leadership than having a deep knowledge of behavioral styles, but this article is probably long enough as it is. But if I could go back 30 years and do it all over, I'd spend a lot of time learning about personality styles, because I believe it is the first, critical component of Inspired Leadership.

Take a minute to learn how each of the members of your team likes to communicate, and try to take a step towards their styles, and you'll be amazed at the results.