Looking for a job? Need some personal advice? Looking to make some new connections?
Perhaps you should try networking. But consider networking only if you are prepared to help others first. Otherwise, your efforts will fall short.
Unfortunately, some take the position that “doing everything” is better than “doing less.” They treat networking like a game of bumper cars in which progress is measured by the number of people that they run into rather than the quality of the underlying relationships created.
Others treat networking like a personal marketing campaign dedicated to spreading the word about themselves and their needs, while ignoring the needs of their peers. This “me-first thinking” not only will not work but also is actually counterproductive.
To be part of a successful network, it’s important to follow a few basic rules:
- Don’t wait until you desperately need a network to begin developing one. Networks are based on trust, respect, and personal chemistry — that doesn’t happen overnight.
- Make the first move in the relationship. Be a giver not a taker.
- First, satisfy a request…then feel free to do more.
- Only make promises you can deliver on. Managing expectations is key.
- Like gift giving, give people what they want, not what you want them to have.
- If you can’t fulfill a request, the next best alternative is to recommend someone from your network who can help.
- Evaluate the reasonableness of your requests. (Never pressure someone who seems uncomfortable with a request you’ve made.)
- Use people’s time wisely. Know what you want before making a request.
- Be specific. If you’re vague, you may end up getting something that you don’t need or want.
- Respect people’s priorities. They may have a lot on their plate. Be understanding if they can’t help you right away.
- When someone introduces you to a colleague in their network, make them “look good.” Their reputation is on the line. Furthermore, keep your friend in the loop. Communicate your progress or the results that occur.
- Never take someone’s good nature for granted; a thank-you is always required.
- Don’t keep score. Just because you performed a favor doesn’t guarantee one in return.
- On the other hand, networking should be give-and-take to some extent. If you do too much for someone without accepting something in return, you’re implying that they don’t have anything to offer.
- When you do someone a favor, don’t make a big deal out of it. Do it because you want to help, or don’t do it at all.
- Don’t push yourself on people. They’ll ask for assistance if they need it.
- Don’t show off by proving how much you know about a subject when a quick answer will suffice.
- Make sure you are contacting people at a convenient time. (Some prefer to be contacted at work, others at home.)
- Do not become too reliant on any one individual. You can destroy a relationship by taking advantage of someone’s good nature.
- Be considerate when making requests of others. Don’t ask for sensitive information, be aware of the costs of your request — in both time and money, and make sure your requests are ethical and reasonable.
- When people come to you with problems they have labored over for weeks, don’t solve these problems for them in seconds. Doing so may make them feel inferior. Better yet, ask questions that help them solve the problems themselves.
- When someone trusts you with sensitive information, maintain its privacy or be prepared to lose that person’s trust.
- Do not judge other people’s requests. What might seem foolish to you may be important to them.
Those who are successful at networking will tell you that its potential is unlimited. It only stands to reason that the people who benefit most are the “givers” — those who go all-out to help others — rather than the “takers” — those who are merely out for personal gain. The best networkers have learned that, as with anything in life, what goes around, comes around.
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Frank Sonnenberg has written four books and published over 300 articles. • Trust Across America named Sonnenberg one of America's Top 100 Thought Leaders of 2014 • Sonnenberg was nominated as one of America's Most Influential Small Business Experts of 2012 • In 2011, Social Media Marketing Magazine (SMM) selected Sonnenberg as one of the top marketing authors in the world on Twitter. • FrankSonnenbergOnline is listed among the "Best 21st Century Leadership Blogs." | Character • Personal Values • Personal Responsibility © 2014 Frank Sonnenberg. All rights reserved.