“Go out end enjoy!” sounds like something you might say to youth footballers, no? Actually, these were pre-game instructions of Johan Cruyff to his Dream Team of FC Barcelona when they won their first Champions League Trophy for the club. That fateful day back in the early 1990s at Wembley Stadium would lead to many more finals and many more trophies for a club that continues to go out to enjoy playing football to the delight of fans worldwide (well, not fans in Madrid).

 I have been fortunate to have worked with Johan Cruyff for the last 13 years. I have also have had the honor to work with friends and colleagues at the highest level of the game — places like Ajax and FC Barcelona that can rightfully boast to house the best youth academies in the world. From the most humble youth club to the best in professional ranks, I have been taking notes.

So many of my lessons learned focus on what is common from the highest to the most humble levels of football. Lessons that transcend the words “elite” or “professional” and resonate with all young players and all parents.

I remember John O’Sullivan mentioning in a TED Talk that the five most important words we should say to our young footballers after matches are, “I love watching you play.” I believe that to be sound and sage advice.

But what do we say before a match?

Are there words that we can share that bring out the very best in our children and remind them to be true to the highest standards ? In my opinion, yes.

I just dropped off my four young children at primary school. I tend to be a personal taxi driver mostly these days as we balance school, soccer, and skateboarding commitments. I am sure a few of you reading this know exactly what it means to be a parent of active young student athletes.

This is what I muttered to my children this morning as they embarked upon their school day. This is also what I say before a soccer match. And as I thought more about this today, I think these three things I will repeat for the next 14 years until they leave home an make up their own phrases.

“Do your best, behave, and have fun.”

1. Do your best. This is not about the final result. This is about giving one’s best effort and then being proud of it in victory or defeat. one’s best effort is the best they have. That does not make them Einstein or Leo Messi. That makes them human beings with potential to continue to be their best under whatever circumstances school or soccer can throw at them. We can see later where their best stacks up, but one’s best is always first place in the first person.

2. Behave: Behavior to me is not about perfection. It is about being your best self so often that it becomes a habit. Do my children respect their opponents enough to shake hands after the heat of competition? Do they protect the kids being bullied on the playground? Do they say “please” and “thank you” and “I’m sorry.” I have made enough mistakes in my life to know that these words can begin to resolve quite a lot. And I have learned even more watching my eight year old son comfort the opposing defender to tell him, “No pasa nada” (loosely meaning “no worries” or “it’s OK”) after that boy mistakenly scored an own goal. That’s a big behavior win already.

3. Have fun: Sounds easy, but did you know that 70% of youth in the USA are dropping out of soccer by the age of 13 mostly because they stop having fun. Having fun is also not tied to results. If only winners can have fun, we are in big trouble since only one team will win the league. The rest should not be doomed to misery. We can enjoy an experience that we do not master. In everything I have ever done, there has been someone better than me. In soccer, in ice hockey, in baseball, in school and so on. This fact should not deprive us of enjoying sport.

If doing their best, having fun and behaving becomes our children’s norm at school, in relationships and on the training pitch, then we are in a good place, no?

In 1992, Ronald Koeman struck a cracking overtime missile for FC Barcelona to win at Wembley. He entered that remarkable stadium with the simple advice “to have fun” from one of the legends of the game. If those words can work for the best in the world, I am pretty sure they may also work quite well for the best young player in your home.

Do your best, behave, and have fun!